You know you have thought about it. A LOT. I know I have thought about it. A whole LOT… It would make our lives sooooo much easier, wouldn’t it? If only… If only poisonings could not be traced back so easily. If only steep cliffs with sharp rocks were easily on hand to trip over. If only your brother were a hit man. Yes, if only your ex (or the boss who let you go, or your complaining neighbor, or your friend who stabbed you in the back…) took a long walk off of a short plank… into a swarm of man-eating sharks… who had not eaten for weeks. Ah yes, fantasies. Well, we can have them. For a minute. I give them a detailed, full screen, surround sound Technicolor 60 seconds.
Then we need to face the music. Stuff happened. Things didn’t pan out the way we wanted them to. And we need to smell the coffee and give up on the “If Onlies” of our daydreams. When I catchy myself in the “If Only” Dream Land, I know 1) I am not living in reality, or the present moment, 2) I will be very discontent if I stay there and the sharks don’t do my bidding, and 3) I need to do some work on me to get myself moving onward and upward. We want to move onward and upward; we are strong, gorgeous, wonderful children of God who want to be living and being a blessing. Besides, the If Onlies are a negative energy black hole that will suck more and more from us and then attract even more negative energy! Let the natural consequences be their Guido, we need to exit their reality.
Make a choice to let go of the things or people that cause you grief or pain. You must choose to be more loving than the people involved in your experience. You must choose to be open to receiving something better. You must choose to be self-sustained, self-contained, self-directed, and self-affirming. When you choose to let go, you are making room for a new vision for yourself and of yourself that is more powerful than anything or anyone can do or say to you or about you. You are choosing to be upheld and upright in all the things you know are true about you. Choose to move beyond the things and people who have not honored the truth of who you are. Once you make the choice, God and the Universe will give you something better!
-Iyanla Vanzant Until Today Daily Devotions (March 30)
Wow! That sounds powerful and incredible… I want that! I carefully explained this theory to my friend Alison the other day and said “We have to do this! It is very important! It is urgent!” She said “Great. Yeah… But I have no idea how to actually move past it, Anne. I can think about it and how great it would be to toss it all off the cliff. But I need to know how.” She had me stumped; my bubble was burst for a little bit. She was right, we can want to move past something and let it go, can know how vitally important it is, but unless we actually do it, we do not reap the benefits…”
Then I remembered:
Susan puts a tiny version of her troublesome person in the palm of her hand and lifts her arms straight up in the air and says “I give him to you, God. I am turning him over to You”. She might have to do this Mini-Man action every morning on her way to work when she starts ruminating on the swarm of sharks and Guido, her cousin’s third cousin back in Green Bay. But she perseveres, and eventually it works. He stays small, and he is out of her business.
Kelly has a beautiful God Box that she uses (any kind of a closed container that you decide is sacred works). She writes down the situation or person on a piece of paper, asks God to handle it for her, and stuffs the paper in her God Box, enthusiastically saying “Goodbye problem!” Kelly then goes about her day, enjoying the fact that God does a much better job taking care of problems than she could. God is more creative, more powerful, more wise, more knowing, more resourceful than us.
Bugs Bunny’s Rocket Ship
I am not as altruistic, and I need colorful pictures… I put my former boss in a spring-loaded rocket ship headed for outer space (heaven) many many times, each time adding more and more detail. My vision started morphing into an old Bugs Bunny cartoon. Eventually, she was sitting in the rocket with him, listening to him chatter to her the whole way. Very satisfying.
Nancy gave me this idea… I send my ex off to sea in a little row boat towards a beautiful sunset about 497 times (so far). There are gorgeous clouds lingering on the horizon, a few seagulls (not turkey vultures!) are circling around; he is safe and headed for God to take care of him. If I feel generous, I gave him oars. The main thing is, he is out of my house.
Another obvious option is to start bruising our knees. Pour it out to God and then offer it up to Him. I used to ask God to “take him/her/it from me”. But I am learning lately that there is more energy and power behind the letting go, and a completely different feel to the action, if I make a subtle change and say “I offer her up to you, God”, “God, I give this struggle to You to handle for me”, “I send him to You”. I am better able to unclench my deathgrip yearning for control (yes, that is mine, and you have a little fist on yours too!) on the situation and open my hands to God to both give my problem and to receive God’s blessing.
Yes, dear friend, I agree. Guido and sharks would be satisfying. But if a person has wronged us, we need to move on, trusting that natural consequences will catch up Guido-style with them in Guido’s perfect timing.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.
This verse says to me that when a problem or person is bothering me, I don’t need to analyze it from 27 different angles and find 13 friends to tell me what to do. I need to turn it over to God. The sharks and the steep (foggy, muddy, jagged) cliff won’t get rid of him or it. I just need to send it off to God, thanking Him for His assistance and guidance and then go about my day, expecting my path to show up and guide the divine way to something better on the other side of this situation.