I am a love glutton. I want it all. Is that really too much? I like all 5 love languages*: quality time (on a walk or bike ride preferably), acts of service (Could you PLEASE sweep the garage for me?), compliments (tell me I am wise, witty and beautiful- and is daily too often?), gifts (not expensive, just anything thoughtful hits the spot), and physical touch (daily, hourly… as often as possible, as long as I can still hold down my job).
I realize I have created a problem for myself with this blog. My blatant sharing of internal quests and naked frailties spread out smorgasbord-style on the web could be a detriment to attraction: occasional lack of confidence in one dish, a sometimes lack of trust on the side, a dish of various resentments for dessert topped with a sprinkle of ill-timed needs for reassurance… If you read my blog, you know all about them! There is more, of course. I live on the edge (of propriety sometimes); I get overly angry still at stupid stuff that really is not a big deal (not that often, only when I am PMS-ing, ovulating, or really sleep deprived); I don’t keep track of my checkbook like I should, especially (not coincidentally) when my ex does not make his payment on time (a double negative); and if I am really busy, sometimes I go a few days between brushing my hair.
But- I always brush my teeth!
I am an awesome person, and have lots of great traits too. So do you. You know you are beautiful inside and out, whether you brush your hair every day or not. Your partner may not always think so, but you and God know. You are always gorgeous and wonderful and utterly loved, no matter what bag of gunk surfaces and explodes inconveniently. Perfection is not expected from God.
The thing is we are REALLY most intensely in need of more unconditional love than a human is capable of giving. We ALL are, whether we are single parents or not. Only a super-human Spider Man/Iron Man/Super Man could love all of me and my character defects all day, every day.
Luckily, we have a higher power (HP) that loves us no matter how cranky we are before the morning coffee. The HP fills in a LOT of gaps for me when I am a less than perfect mom, friend, colleague, girlfriend, boss, committee member, worker, etc. In ALL of my relationships, whether romantic or not, but perhaps more importantly in romantic relationships (which I may choose not to have again until 2015, a subject for another blog…).
I need to ask the HP dude to kick in a little more often than I have in the past. When the human is falling short of his super-human capabilities and I am having my gluttonous love needs, I need to count on the HP (higher than human, more powerful than human) to fill in the gaps. And I can ask for it every single morning. And expect it to show up.
A human can NOT meet all of my needs, and THAT IS THE POINT. A human, even a rock-solid gold partner, is not supposed to.
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are anew each morning; great is your faithfulness.
May God keep you and hold you today and every day in the palm of his hand.
*Gary Chapman 5 Love Languages. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com He wrote about 8 versions of this book- for singles, for children, for teenagers, for spouses, etc. A great set of books. See my blog entry on it.