Alanon’s Three A’s and the Control Thingamajig

“Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”
Aristotle

Whoa. That is a lot of pressure. “The whole aim”? The entire enchilada?!?! I disagree. A divine connection is my primary aim. But happiness is also high on my list of priorities. For either aim, I need to get my shit together and stop stressing, worrying, and angsting. Because that for sure is not my purpose in life…

In Alanon, I learned the 3 A’s—Awareness, Acceptance, Action. We were told this slogan helps when learning to reform our lives and brains and hearts and lives after extreme stress (i.e. in my case, marrying not one but two alcoholics and living the extreme craziness that ensued).

We were told to 1) stop trying to control other people; 2) stop thinking we could ever control other peoples’ behavior; and 3) get on with the business of controlling OUR OWN behavior.

The 3 A’s assist us with that Control Thingamajig that makes connection with God and happiness so fleeting.

Awareness: Become aware of the issue/behavior/crap that came down the highway at you.

Acceptance: Accept the reality of it, don’t be the Queen of denial, live in the present.

Action: After acceptance and reality check, then Act (don’t Re-act).

I’m pretty sure that it is not in the 3 A’s to yell at the top of my lungs “Where are you-get off the computer-get your butt in the kitchen-it is 7 am-time for breakfast NOW!” loud enough for the neighbors to show up for scrambled eggs.

I don’t think I am promoting anyone’s happiness when I do that schtick. If I want to be happy and enjoy my family breakfast, it is time for me to pay attention to my behaviors and promote my daily habits of MY happiness.

“What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while”
Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

Back to learning my Habits of
-Investing Time in Loved Ones
-Acceptance
-Divine Connection
-And figuring out what is next