Posted by Grumpy, irritated, tired, and resentful. That is me today. I am annoyed too. My current crush (CC) is not getting the point that I like, enjoy, and respond really well to daily contact that he needs to initiate half the time or more. I am afraid of his rejection. His power play about our communication is not making me like him more; it is pissing me off and inspiring me to delete all of my saved text messages and voice mails as well as his contact information (I know I can be a little drastic). I am so ready to tell him to forget it all despite a fabulous phone conversation 3 days ago.
More immediately and in my face, I have to work with the Princess Bitch (PB) in the office today. I am not looking forward to it. We have to sit down together in a room and talk over something she is going to be very defensive about, and likely will find a way to put me down and wave her long fingernails at me and her work as if she is the Princess of all. I will have to focus very hard on breathing and that professionalism concept…
I didn’t get enough sleep this past week. And I am feeling a little pushed to do more than I am capable of. Can you tell?!
Here is my gratitude list for today:
1. My meeting with PB is not until this afternoon
2. I have not bitten anyone’s head off (yet) today
3. I did not badger my children this morning and we had a nice breakfast together
4. I have not cried in a) my boss’ office, b)my office, c)in public, d)yet today
5. **I can pray and ask God to turn this fear of rejection into a miracle of communication with CC and PB.
God- Please give me perspective, grace, and divine timing for these 2 important communication pieces on my plate. Help me to trust that you could actually turn these 2 situations into miracles of some sort. Oh yeah, according to other blogs I have written, I am supposed to Be the Grace. I will work on that… but you could help me with that too? I am feeling really skeptical about all this…
Please help me to be patient while I figure out how to trust you again. In the meantime, I am going to go eat a bunch of chocolate and find a tranquilizer.
3-Legged Table: Reframing Our Beautiful Chaos 
I hope the meeting went well… and that you did not cry at all. I’m feeling today the way you felt when you were writing this post.
Those growth opportunities suck when we are in the middle of them. Everything feels difficult, the driver in the car ahead of me is too slow, I can’t find matching socks, my friend forgets to call me back, etc.etc. sometimes just surviving them intact without hurting anyone in the process is the blessing at the end of the tunnel.
Ann – My dear friend. I am so sorry that you are struggling today. I wish you the best of luck in the meeting with PB and I am sooo proud of you that you haven’t cried today! I have to tell you though that I laughed, outloud, several times while reading this. Not at you but with you as a friend as I have some of the same feelings some days. Thank you for being my friend and brightening my day with your humor. I will pray for you that you can get some rest too! Love ya!
Thanks Sandy! I don’t really cry that often at the office, my gratitude list was a stretch- trying to find SOMETHING to be positive about : ). Yes, we all feel this way at times and “this too shall pass”