Grumpy, irritated, tired, and resentful. That is me today. I am annoyed too. My current crush (CC) is not getting the point that I like, enjoy, and respond really well to daily contact that he needs to initiate half the time or more. I am afraid of his rejection. His power play about our communication is not making me like him more; it is pissing me off and inspiring me to delete all of my saved text messages and voice mails as well as his contact information (I know I can be a little drastic). I am so ready to tell him to forget it all despite a fabulous phone conversation 3 days ago.
More immediately and in my face, I have to work with the Princess Bitch (PB) in the office today. I am not looking forward to it. We have to sit down together in a room and talk over something she is going to be very defensive about, and likely will find a way to put me down and wave her long fingernails at me and her work as if she is the Princess of all. I will have to focus very hard on breathing and that professionalism concept…
I didn’t get enough sleep this past week. And I am feeling a little pushed to do more than I am capable of. Can you tell?!
Here is my gratitude list for today:
1. My meeting with PB is not until this afternoon
2. I have not bitten anyone’s head off (yet) today
3. I did not badger my children this morning and we had a nice breakfast together
4. I have not cried in a) my boss’ office, b)my office, c)in public, d)yet today
5. **I can pray and ask God to turn this fear of rejection into a miracle of communication with CC and PB.
God- Please give me perspective, grace, and divine timing for these 2 important communication pieces on my plate. Help me to trust that you could actually turn these 2 situations into miracles of some sort. Oh yeah, according to other blogs I have written, I am supposed to Be the Grace. I will work on that… but you could help me with that too? I am feeling really skeptical about all this…
Please help me to be patient while I figure out how to trust you again. In the meantime, I am going to go eat a bunch of chocolate and find a tranquilizer.