The Options and Choices of Allowance

What would it be like if we allowed everyone in our life to care and love us the way that THEY want to?

What would it be like if we didn’t insist that there were certain “rules” and “obligations” that a friend needs to follow, or it just isn’t real?

I have some friends whom I only talk to every 6 or 9 months. I have one friend with a 2-text maximum. I am hanging out with a man who has never asked me to dinner. Do they really care about me?

I don’t hand make my children’s Halloween costumes or their lunches. Do I love them less than moms who do those things? No, of course not.

Do my friends who don’t reciprocate the dinner at my house deserve to be shunned?

Ahhh! There is that word- “deserve”. If we follow the relationship rules, do we deserve love and friendship? If we study hard in school, do we deserve an A? Do we deserve to be first string if we go to all of the practices?

Everyone has their own opinions on these, but I think the answer is No, of course not. We might earn something, but we don’t deserve it. Single parents don’t deserve to be poor and lonely. Gay people don’t deserve to get AIDS.

Life is just right out there. No deserving necessary. So step out of the self-sabotage and fill up your plate with love, caring, money, friendship, sex, new brown leather boots, a fat checking account, or whatever you have been denying yourself because you didn’t think you deserved it.

If I step up to the plate and ALLOW others to care about me in the ways they feel comfortable, then I am closer to getting rid of the expectations (and the Control Bitch goes underground too). And you know how awesome it is when we let go of expectations? Oh yeah- THEN IT IS ALL A GIFT! Woo Hoo. Party time with all the blessings we get when we step out of the rules, regulations, obligations, and expectations.