… and find the gifts in the situation!?!? I do NOT relish getting up in the middle of the night ot take care of sick kids, or to go pick up kids at the movie theater at 11 pm, or calling and harassing the 17-year old who is blowing off his curfew. But I do it. And I try super duper hard to remember that this phase will not last forever. In a few years, they won’t be asking for rides, or even sharing breakfast with me on a daily basis. So the time we have together, even if it is after my bedtime, and inconvenient, and feels bothersome, is somewhere along the precious scale.
One horrible epidsode, which is a family joke now, my then-5-year old daughter wa projectile vomiting pink stuff. It got on the floor, the door, the sink, even in my eye! I then, 2- hours later, got the runs myself, which made it a challenge to take care of me and her. An hour later, after everyone was in bed and asleep, I heard my DOG HAVING DIARRHEA in his crate, of course… That was a hard one to beat, that bug! The only gift or blessing in that is the laughter we all have over it now, and actually, that is a really pretty good blessing, to laugh with our kids, to have old inside jokes with them, and to smile and know that they feel loved and taken care of, even when it is a pain in the neck.
And, there are gifts to parenting alone- our ex is a coparent usually, and that is extremeley important to put energy in to preserving that relationship for the kids’ benefit. But our ex isn’t there on a daily basis any more, helping with dinner or carpools or soccer cleat tantrums. BUT- we get to choose consequences without repercussions. No one can go behind my back and let him spend the night with Nick after I said no. We get to decide, alone, how much of our family budget goes towards winter boots vs. power tools, or family vacations vs. hunting trips. We get to choose our family rules about movies, drinking beer at 18 at family occasions, and how short the homecoming dress hemline can be. I especially like the rule I made 12 years ago that we all take very seriously: Every single Christmas morning, we MUST have cinnamon rolls and bacon while opening up presents. Nobody messes with me on that one.
Action Item: Write down 10 things you love about your lifestyle and find 5 more reasons you would NEVER DO IT DIFFERENTLY if you had the chance.
“This is your world. Shape it or someone else will.”
Visualize: Imagine you are surrounded by that golden loving light, dripping all around from you, while repeating your affirmation 10 times. Pick your affirmation: “I love the life I have built for my kids and me”; “I am capable, strong, caring, and loving and all will be well in our world”; “I claim my own power, and I lovingly create my own reality.”