I have a funny (as in not helpful) habit of finding myself unloveable when difficulty arises. If my laundry has stacked up/the kitchen is gross, I bounced a check, I made a mistake at work, or I lost my cool with a kid, I turn that on myself, and feel unloveable, and then unloving is close behind. What is that about?
We think we have to be perfect to be lovable? And then, my silly brain goes from feeling unloveable to unloving, because if the world doesn’t love me, then by God, I will beat the world to the punch and be the first to un-love. Then Snarky Anne comes out to protect herself against an unloving world.
WHAT?!? That logic is more than flawed, it is a circle jerk backward approach. And self-fulfilling. If I think the world is going to push me down, then I shove first. I think I am not alone. Do you do this too?
What if, instead, we decided to love first? Would it help us to notice the love around us? Leave our opinions about ourselves and our lovability out of the equation and extend love regardless of our vision of ourselves.
Action Item for today:
-Say hello to the garbage man
-Smile and look the cashier in the eyes; ask how they are doing with sincerity
-Thank the police officer for being kind about giving us the traffic ticket rather than a power freak dude (?!)
-Laugh loudly at the joke someone tells
-Quietly listen to the kid’s complaints about the teacher rather than telling them to buck up and do it anyway (this is hard for me)
In short, find ways to be a blessing to others. Everyone has a big sign around their neck, wanting love. Let’s get out of our own shoes and be the one to give it to them. See what happens. And notice if we feel more love? (More on that tomorrow)
I have a great daily blogspot with a video for you to watch- very short:
Here is the video:
Thanks SD, it is tough to get outside our own misery sometimes. I can stay in my head too long, but little habits or routines draw me out, jarring those neuron pathways to new endings. You are doing it too! 🙂 so great to see your rubbish update.
Quite a sweet way to both recognize and solve a very common problem. Most of us want to wallow in those ‘unloved’ / ‘unlovable’ feelings and withdraw, except to interact with claws at the ready. But you’ve found a counter that’s a good fix and very you. 🙂