When we are scared and feeling vulnerable to losing the underpinnings of our lives- a relationship moving on without us, or a threat to our job- we can forget that we are still significant to our world. The recipient may change, but we do not stop providing value.
Why is it that when stressed and anxious, we can forget that our world still needs us? When the circumstances change, I get stuck in glue. I am swimming through thick mud. Or I can’t see through the fog. I forget that my input to the world is still very valuable!
We want to just throw in the towel when fear of loss strikes. I want to give it all up and binge on Netflix (Indian Matchmaking was my latest escape) with a bottle of ___, and a pound of Chips Ahoy cookies. This is OK for one night, alone, with no kids witnessing the meltdown, and no work the next day. So plan the Pity Party accordingly! Don’t drop in on the Pity Party at a moment’s notice. Be intentional and plan it (and have milk on had for the chocolate chip cookies).
Back to my point- You have value. You add value. And people do appreciate your hard work, energy inputs, and thoughtfulness. Just because the set-up is changing doesn’t mean your input is null. If the relationship is changing, that may be out of our control, but we can still be the lighthouse to our kids and our friends. If the job is threatened, we still have other options and places to help out. Keep remembering the value we add: Emotional support (“I hear you saying____, tell me more”); Vision (“Someday you will be making dinner for your family!”); Structure (“It sounds like your priority is___”).
The world needs you! When circumstances change, we keep on providing our unique blessings elsewhere; think of it as a location change. You moved your home a block over but you still wash dishes, cook a turkey at Thanksgiving, pay the bills from your desk at night, and you still do your loving, blessing, caring work in the world. You don’t stop being you.
Just because we are overwhelmed with changes, we don’t give up. We get perspective. We rearrange. We say goodbye to the old. We embrace the new opportunity and choose action over stagnation.