I don’t know if you have ever felt this way, but lately I have felt like a Purveyor of Goods- I deliver stuff to my boss, and the company gives me money. Then I deliver the money to the store to buy shorts and new socks to deliver to my son. Then I go to the grocery store so that I can deliver food to the table for us to eat. Delivery Lady- that is what I have become without noticing!
I need to take care of my peace, serenity, and sanity so that I can:
-Deliver my ear and heart’s attention to my daughter’s stories and ideas. (And not just a curt “No” when she suggests packing her tuba named Joe on a cross-country road trip).
-Deliver love and kindness and some sort of sense of humor when my son and I talk together about life, girls, and advanced algebra class.
-Deliver my notes to you, my prayers to God, and my thankfulness to my heart so that I can be content in my life today just as it is.
If I am not careful, I can become a pack mule, showing up, doing the work, delivering goods, going home, and getting to bed to get ready for the next delivery of goods. I want to be more, I want to Be Light. I need to switch my thoughts from “I have to, I have to, I have to” to “I choose to, I choose to, I choose to”.
I chose to have kids, I am choosing to raise them, I choose to go to work today, I choose to run 6 miles today. AND I choose to stop, take a breath, smile, laugh, and to spend time with a friend to nurture our hearts’ and souls’ thoughts, wishes, and desires. As my friend Bob said, “Everyone wants to be loved and wanted”. Therefore, no one wants to be the recipient of the “Sorry, I have to…” Even MY HEART doesn’t want to hear that from me!
So give your heart a break today, extricate yourself from the pack mule saddle, and choose to nurture your heart’s thoughts, wishes, and desires. It is time to do that!!
May God rain mercy, courage and wisdom on you today