God I get tired of being the one who goes to work, does the dishes, figures out that we could fix burritos for dinner tonight, sucks it up when her hopes for love with someone are squished, calls her wacked-out parents and listens empathetically to them complain that their email isn’t working, buys the jeans and underwear and socks for the kids (and not herself), organizes the family quality time (and pushes the teenager to play the board games), and fits 3 loads of laundry in between sleep and work and journaling for a scrap of serenity.
I need grace and mercy today. I’m on my knees asking for help from God. I can feel my knees buckling under the load. I want to be thankful and change my attitude, I know it sucks today. Help me to spin it God!
I didn’t envision my 40’s would be like this, or my 30’s. I didn’t know it would be such a difficult scramble for sanity and money for 15 years now. I don’t think I knew much at all when I envisioned my adult life… I didn’t know I had so much to learn. But I also didn’t know I would love my kids and love parenting these 2 beautiful souls so very much. I had no idea how much it would hurt my heart when theirs would hurt. So I keep on praying for guidance, strength, courage, and wisdom for me and my parenting.
Here is my To Do List:
1. Keep praying for help
2. Keep being grateful
3. Reach out to others
4. Hug lots
5. Be open and intend to have peace, joy, contentedness, and love today- here and right now.
PS- After publishing this, my intrepid friend Brad sent this verse to us to call on when we feel our knees buckling:
Matthew 11: 28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”