“Each time of life has its own kind of love.”
— Leo Tolstoy
Wow, I love that quote! It totally takes the pressure off of finding the love of my life, my soul mate, the dude to end all dudes. Maybe I don’t need to feel the way I did when I was in my teens and twenties in order to know I am in love now.
We do that, as old lovers, compare the feelings we have for someone today to the feelings we had when we were 23, had no kids, no debt, no intense job pressures, nothing to do but daydream about the date last night. That doesn’t seem fair, does it? Our lives have evolved to be fuller, to contain more, do more, and be more. How could someone possibly evoke the same volcano of emotion we felt decades ago for one person when there are children we love deeply and careers we have passion for, and friendships we have nurtured for decades as well?
Perhaps my next love will feel more like a comforting and connecting passion than a semi-truck running through my life, smearing everything else out of existence. My life is a little more complicated now, evolved a little more to encompass more passions than a romantic partner, so the loving feelings I have for a man will take that into account.
Or maybe this phase of my life is not even about romantic love, but about loving my children and giving and receiving that love more than any other type of love during this time of our lives together.
Each phase of our lives will have a new love, a new way of feeling and expressing love. Love won’t be the same as it was in our youth, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t just as meaningful and enjoyable.