Advice only counts when we are giving it

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I just finished last night, encouraging my friend (we will just call her Sarah, not her real name) that she is in the right place at the right time, it was a great experience for her, and that life is going along on the perfect plan, just for her. She told me about a 1-night stand with a gorgeous waiter at a restaurant last Friday night where she had met a blind date. Yeah, this friend of mine was able to simultaneously drop the deadbeat and pick up the gorgeous dude. She felt yucky, kind of like she had used or been used, and had gotten too drunk to turn it in to something better. I asked her if she had fun, and she said “Oh yeah”. I replied that it was the perfect experience then, and resulted in exactly what was supposed to happen. Isn’t that smart and sweet and wise of me? I felt very smug.

So today, it is difficult to imagine that CG (Cute Guy) is going to step up to the plate… We emailed a tiny bit last week and on Monday, but he has chosen not to reply to my last one, not to ask me out again, AND, I saw him in the hallway a moment ago, and he looked down, grabbing at his shirt as if he lost his pen or something very important like that RATHER than say “Hey, how are you? What are you doing this weekend, because I cannot wait to see you. I cannot bear to spend another weekend without you!”.

So, Big Goober is his new nickname. BG. I am grumpy and pissed and want to make faces at my computer screen. My wisdom to Sarah certainly does not apply to me, even though I also had a fabulous time and enjoyed every minute of it and wanted to be content with being myself and enjoying myself for 2 hours on our date.

I don’t want to be happy and pleased about my rather gray-ish situation, or chalk it up to experience, or anything I told me friend Sarah to do. I want to pout and be grumpy rather than imagine that something else, much better will come along, or that maybe he is too afraid anyway of actually seeing me or doing any more than hugging me. I don’t want to imagine that maybe he just needs time. I have magically transformed into a 14-year old who wants the boy to ask her to Homecoming, damn it!I don’t want to think that also, maybe I need more time, or that we have all the time in the world. I don’t, I wanted a cute boyfriend by Thanksgiving.

I also told Sarah that tomorrow she would feel differently. I might consider that is true for me too.


    1. I thought I was allowing nesting 10 deep, oh well. I am replying to the wrong one: SG, I was just searching, and I really don’t have anything even “low”, so fear not.

      SDad: Dang!

      1. Anne, SG is saying the low-cut shirt shouldn’t be too low. I’m not sure why she thinks you should avoid a “come hither” look, other than appealing to his brain might be better than appealing to his (low-hanging body part).

      2. I decided to please everyone, and wore a turtleneck… a tight one… with tight jeans… And high heels…

        I went down to his office and announced with a raised eyebrow “Hey- I wanted to hear about your vacation. I wasn’t blowing smoke up your butt”. He laughed and told me that he had just sent me an email telling me all about his vacation. So we talked more about it, he showed me pics online, and I smiled lots per Mark’s direction, and left quickly, per Sara’s direction, and walked back happily content thinking “OK, he shared his stories, we are friends like that”. Just friends.

        I started writing an email in return to his description, and got a text asking if it was time for cocktails yet…!!

        So… we are going out for cocktails in 5 minutes. I will follow all of your directions- not too much to drink, SGal, be myself and smile lots Mark, be light and superficial Sara, and appeal to his lower hanging body part SDad. It will take me a drink or 2 to get all of that straight!!!

    1. He came by my office today, flying quickly and smiling and waving. I don’t think anything happened, we are just on the glacial path and I of course want speedy path! He isn’t good with emails, I knew that last week. I will stop being a baby and go by his office to chat quickly. And smile lots. And flirt. And maybe wear a lowcut shirt…

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