I just finished last night, encouraging my friend (we will just call her Sarah, not her real name) that she is in the right place at the right time, it was a great experience for her, and that life is going along on the perfect plan, just for her. She told me about a 1-night stand with a gorgeous waiter at a restaurant last Friday night where she had met a blind date. Yeah, this friend of mine was able to simultaneously drop the deadbeat and pick up the gorgeous dude. She felt yucky, kind of like she had used or been used, and had gotten too drunk to turn it in to something better. I asked her if she had fun, and she said “Oh yeah”. I replied that it was the perfect experience then, and resulted in exactly what was supposed to happen. Isn’t that smart and sweet and wise of me? I felt very smug.
So today, it is difficult to imagine that CG (Cute Guy) is going to step up to the plate… We emailed a tiny bit last week and on Monday, but he has chosen not to reply to my last one, not to ask me out again, AND, I saw him in the hallway a moment ago, and he looked down, grabbing at his shirt as if he lost his pen or something very important like that RATHER than say “Hey, how are you? What are you doing this weekend, because I cannot wait to see you. I cannot bear to spend another weekend without you!”.
So, Big Goober is his new nickname. BG. I am grumpy and pissed and want to make faces at my computer screen. My wisdom to Sarah certainly does not apply to me, even though I also had a fabulous time and enjoyed every minute of it and wanted to be content with being myself and enjoying myself for 2 hours on our date.
I don’t want to be happy and pleased about my rather gray-ish situation, or chalk it up to experience, or anything I told me friend Sarah to do. I want to pout and be grumpy rather than imagine that something else, much better will come along, or that maybe he is too afraid anyway of actually seeing me or doing any more than hugging me. I don’t want to imagine that maybe he just needs time. I have magically transformed into a 14-year old who wants the boy to ask her to Homecoming, damn it!I don’t want to think that also, maybe I need more time, or that we have all the time in the world. I don’t, I wanted a cute boyfriend by Thanksgiving.
I also told Sarah that tomorrow she would feel differently. I might consider that is true for me too.