Worm Brain, Triggers, and Harmony

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HARMONY – from Old French harmonie/armonie, Latin harmonia, Ancient Greek ἁρμονία (harmonia, “joint, union, agreement, concord of sounds”). 1. Noun; agreement or accord; 2. a pleasing combination of elements, or arrangement of sounds 3. (music) the academic study of chords; two or more notes played simultaneously to produce a chord; the relationship between two distinct musical pitches(Wikipedia).

With 1) the end of high school football season, 2) Halloween falling mid-week, 3) my yearly job review, 4) sleep deprivation every night this week due to kids needing rides home at 10 or 10:30 pm, 5) a new project at work, 6) seemingly ever present strangling financial stress, and of course 7) eating too many Snickers bars, there has been some serious lack of agreement and non-accord in my household over the last 4 days. We all have these weeks, when too much has been asked of the family, we are exhausted, and a hair trigger response to anger seems ever-present. Plus, I can only hold one thought at a time… My brain has very reduced capacity. I feel like a worm.

“pick me up now please” texted at 10:17 pm by the 16-year old
“I forgot I had a math test today and almost fell asleep during it” she states over the phone
“What do you want to do about it” says the boyfriend

Harsh tones, disrespect, flippancy, sarcasm. These are all trigger for me to fly off the handle, jetting off to the stratosphere. Does son really think I am at his every beck and call? How dare she take such ill-care of herself and her studies? Why do I have to fix the plans with the boyfriend?

BUT- Slow down the train a notch… What if we assume Harmony? What if God/Universe has already worked this out and there really is a pleasing accord in the relationship that I cannot discern in this wormed-up brain? What if the text really means “Hey, I am exhausted and I need you to save me from this now, please”. What if it was a confession from her about her math test, looking for understanding or comfort because she already felt bad about it? And what if bf is saying he is flexible and can do whatever is best for me?

What if it will be ok, the good and the harsh because it will work out? What if they are seeking closeness and we are all wrong in our assumptions?

What if we assume harmony in the Universe for us and our struggles? What if the worm brain holds on to that one thought all day today? How different would it all look?

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