“If one thinks that one is happy, that is enough to be happy.”
–Madame de la Fayette
I had a bout of SMTB (Single Mom of Teenager Blues) this week. Crying jags, going to bed early, out and out sobbing while driving, afraid to talk to coworkers because I might cry in front of them, sitting in my car, wondering if I could put mascara on yet in the morning, and eating lots of chocolate chip cookies (oh wait, I do that every week).
The reason? I had to have some strong natural consequences for my son and he HATED them. So he argued, blamed, struggled, stomped, told me I loved his siter more than him, etc. He really worked at making me feel like the Wicked Mom of the West. I was tired, weak, feeling unloved and underappreciated, and consequently, I felt awful about it all. I missed the concept of a partner to step up next to me. I missed my sweet 5-year old boy who would hold my hand and beg for me to read him more books. I missed that sweet boy who would hug me spontaneously. I missed a husband helping to fix us dinner. I missed sleep. I even missed MY Mom!
Here are my feel-better steps:
1-I texted my single mom friend Sandy, asked for prayers, and she commiserated with me.
2-I told my sister with no children that raising teenagers is wearing, and I wasn’t feeling that great. And my sweet sister emailed me that I am doing a fantastic job, and making it look easy (I am pretty sure my kids would disagree with that!).
3-A friend at work gave me hugs and told me that I was right on track.
4-I went on strike and did not cook or clean or ask my kids about any chore or homework or bedtime or soggy pizza box they left on the kitchen counter.
5- I went to bed with a picnic dinner and my book at 7:30.
6- I woke up this morning and ran 4 miles. I prayed big time through it all, and decided that I have a guardian angel- I must if we have made it this far!!! She is watching over us and making sure it will all work out just right, just perfectly. I decided to be happy and let my son be mad.
He woke up today talking to me again, and I breathed deeply. We are all doing the very best we can. So let’s rest tonight, knowing all is well and will be well.