New Boss: Part 1 Intro (It is Going to Take Me Awhile to Unravel This)

I have a new boss, she started Nov 11.  I am still in mourning about my old boss leaving, so this new one didn’t have much of a chance… Also, I did her job for 4 months before she came on, so her ramp-up time is not getting any slack from me.  She is not a people leader, not a connector, and not warm either.

Are you getting the picture? I don’t have a lot of warm fuzzies myself for her or the way she is (not) leading our team.  But I am clear- I don’t want her job. It is thankless, filled with pressure, and requires a lot of hours.  I am not having fun, not feeling fulfilled, not enjoying time off, not feeling appreciated*, and generally scouring Indeed.com for a new gig.

I need to bite my tongue every interaction because we are just not a good match.  She is vague and confrontational.  I like clarity and give affirmations.  I thrive on connections, and she doesn’t care about connecting to people.  She was present for my yearly performance review last week, and talked more about herself and her plans than me and my strengths or weaknesses.

*Appreciation and acknowledgement are important to me.  I like being on a Team, feeling like I am contributing, connecting and sharing energy… She is on the other side of the coin- she likes to look important herself, enjoys her status, is more about confrontation than connection.  I end up with a bad mood every time we have a meeting together.

It occurred to me that she probably has not led a team before this.  I know she has some skills I don’t, and they count for a lot.  Big breath here- I can probably learn from her (eye roll).

Challenge #11: What if we consider people we don’t like or appreciate as newbies to their role and give them time and patience to sort out themselves (more than 6 weeks)? What if I send her good wishes and good vibes, maybe even a prayer? 

Ugh, these are big asks.  I am sharing them with you because I need to hold myself accountable.  I really really want to revert to my 8-year old brain and run away; or my 15-year old and tell her to go to Hell; or my self-indignant 24-year old and feel all righteous and go behind her back to her boss.  This growing up stuff is hard for a 54-year old!  This getting over my personal BS and not taking her personally, allowing her to have her own style and strangeness is HARD. Why oh why is this growth opportunity here now!?!?

*Advice, comments, admonitions, jokes, commiseration is all welcome.  Please provide below in comments.  I need to grow up!