I spent 7 years in Al-anon meetings after a 3-year relationship (2 years married) to a dry alcoholic. The Al-anon program was the best blessing- a gift from him that I will always treasure. Anyway- Al-anon has a saying that goes something like “Life is uncontrollable, the only thing I can control is my own behavior”. So I cannot expect my new boss to change to suit my fancy. I don’t connect with her AT ALL, and in fact avoid quite energetically bc of the headaches she gives me every time we email, talk , or are on a call together.
She drives me crazy with the way every conversation turns in to being about her. But I need to clean up my side of the street and take care of MY business. Maybe I am worried deep down that she is going to find my faults, my un-followed through tasks lists, my imperfections (I have many). Maybe I need to step up my own attention to my priorities; look at the mirror and stop looking at her with the pointed finger. OR- maybe I need to sit and go a little deeper, journal a little bit about what I perceive as my lacking and “not enough-ness” to see why do I not want to be vulnerable with this woman? Why do I feel attacked? Is it valid for me to feel self conscious, or do I need to tell myself that I am enough?!?!?
Challenge#12: When we feel challenged by someone, ask ourselves why. Do we feel inadequate? Should we feel inadequate? What has led to this lack of confidence? Is it based on truth or fiction? How can we re-write the story to feel the Truth?