You know how you act when you are fulfilled, and you know now what the words or phrases are that describe your actions when you are in the flow (Time flies and I forget about food and sleep for a little bit- the chocolate cravings subside). For example: “I like helping others to ease their lives a little”, “I love solving tricky problems”, “I really get a jazz out of caring for others and helping them”, “I get a kick out of teaching a difficult concept and seeing the light go on”, “I really lose myself when I am creating something beautiful out of nothing”, “I like meeting new people and making connections”, “I love inspiring and motivating people”.
Everyone’s phrases are different. For example–I hate my kitchen’s tupperware cupboard, I just throw things in there and slam the door as quickly as possible and run away before it crashes out onto the floor. But it was the highlight of my boyfriend’s weekend to 1) empty the whole cupboard (which I have not done in 8 years, way too frightening), get his cordless drill out (no idea where mine is), buy a wire storage thingy, install it in the cupboard while laying upside down on my kitchen floor (I only use pushpins to hang pictures- I have no idea how to use a drill on a sideways surface); and then he arranged the tupperware and water bottles in a similar size fashion so that they all fit with room to spare. A miracle. I could not do that in a million years. But he doesn’t feel good in social situations with new people where I feel just fine and know what questions to ask to find out their business and how our company can help them.
Breakthrough #16: Your phrases are yours- not mine. Devise them with one word at a time, one little personality test at a time. Now know your life’s igniting passions. It really is that simple. Write them in your planner, on a sticky note next to your computer, use a dry erase marker on your bathroom mirror to consider them while brushing your teeth tonight. Come back to the words later. See if they fit, see what you can add.
Next, apply them to your tasks and responsibilities. That is, that list of dry expectations of you: Be in carpool pick-up lane by 3:05; Have dinner ready by 6 pm; Review that report; Develop that budget; Write agenda for that meeting, etc.
My example: Review 65 page avian mortality report for a wind farm construction site in Nebraska. That is dry as a corn husk boring. Whut whut? 65 pages!?! That inspires day drinking. But when I add in and write down and remember while I am reading that I am actually taking notes, collecting data and comments to develop a quality program to share our common errors with junior staff Katy and Paige so that we can strategize together to improve our reports, that is an entirely new mindset. I am reading for Katy and Paige, not the silly wind turbines! My role has been re-framed to suit my energizer words to motivate me to be present for it and feel good about my work. I am changing my little world with my review of this report.
Breakthrough #16.5: Describe your role or just one task re-frame using your words and phrases that are uplifting and fun, energizing for you. Share them with a friend to see if they make sense. Notice how it changes your energy when you think about your task or role this new way.
Example 2: BD’s task is provider– He lost his life partner and Mum for his middle school son and is bereft of help and companionship, and love (for a while). But not hope. BD is energized and motivated when he provides hope to others. He is able to keep motivating others every damn day in the midst of a dark British winter. He points out the view, the humor, the little get-through-it tricks, the small victories, the SUNSHINE in his life while also tying shoes, practicing spelling, fixing dinner, washing clothes.
He turns what could be mundane and darn right depressing into Hope. That is his passion. It ignites him with energy. Hope and Belief. He is the ray of sunshine to his family. THAT is his task.
You got this! Scratch out your task and re-frame it for you. Just try it… Prepare dinner by 6 pm = Create a nourishing meal experience for my family. Pick up kids by 3:05 = Encircle my children with love and enthusiasm for our day. Develop the budget = Create a method to arrange numbers to fit in the constraints.
PS- Did you notice, the new boss is no longer part of “My Story”? 😉