Posted by We all want our Mamas these days. We have flipped back, and time-travelled to our younger selves who are traumatized and need some words of encouragement, a care, a warm embrace with the whispered “You will be ok Baby. You just fell. It will be ok”. The problem is, our Mamas probably don’t have that in them (if they ever did, count yourself lucky).
You are not alone. We are all hurting and need some tender care. But when I reach for my typically soothing addictions… The phone’s news cycle disrupts me more and sends me to fight or flight; the Netflix won’t turn off and I stay up too late trying to escape reality; outdoors for a walk and I choke on wildfire smoke; chocolate is good, but I eat the entire bar and need a nap. And the margarita mix on top of the fridge is definitely off limits on a Monday at 10 am.
So instead, what if we reach out to a friend? My Mom doesn’t have comfort capabilities, but I do! And my Mama friend Wendy does, so does Liz, and Madlen, Laura, and Andrea. Just texting with college friend Wendy reminds me of the comforting tea she made me in the mornings when I visited her. And talking to Madlen, sharing stories of our kids reminds me of our late nights with bowls of popcorn she made me. Liz’s oatmeal, Andrea’s calm and kind words, Laura’s accepting phrases, Delia’s consistent encouragement. Think it over- you have these women in your life too. Let our friends mother us, and be a mother to our friends. Reach out and find them today for a quick mother-hit. We all need it.
3-Legged Table: Reframing Our Beautiful Chaos 
What does that leave for us guys to do, reach out to our fathering male friends? The ones who tell us, “Cowboy up, be a man!” Thanks for nothing.
The thing is, a lot of us never had mothering mothers either, and our female friends don’t want to destroy our manly images of ourselves that both our parents forced on us.
But it is nice to know women are there for other women. At least half the human race knows how to be supportive. Imagine if we were all brought up that way…
I know you have it in you to “mother” your male buddies in a way that speaks comfort to them!
I do, but they don’t want it. Childhood brainwashing is a very hard thing to overcome, particularly when one has no idea they have been brainwashed.
This is so helpful! Xo
Thanks Mary! You are one of my mother friends too. Thanks for following me!