When we think of love languages, and trying to speak our partner, daughter’s, son’s love language to them so that they feel cared about, has it ever to you to speak your own love language to yourself?
You could have blown me over with a feather when my daughter suggested I give myself care in my own love language. I had been thinking that when I spent time reading, taking a bath, buying myself a new shirt, or balancing my spending plan, I was taking care of me. But what about my primary love language, words of affirmation? I was not speaking my own love language to my self!
This week I was more tired than usual, working a new job (yay!!!), new colleagues, new manager (on top of the political, pandemic, wildfire shitstorm ramping up in the U.S.). One sentence of suggestion from my manager “You should try to do a little bit of internal training every day” and I felt pangs of the old Not Good Enough storyline beginning. Self-talk wasn’t working, I jumped back into rumination. So I wrote it down.
What a difference! Consider self-write rather than self-talk when the rumination sets in and you need a boost. Write it as if you are addressing your daughter or good friend who needs some encouragement. Remind yourself of what you are handling and how much you have grown this year, this month. No lectures, no to-do lists go in this love letter to yourself. Just gratitude and pats on the back. Give unconditional love to yourself.
You deserve to notice your own hard work. You know best the efforts you have made; give yourself credit! I challenge you to write it down, and post it as a blog.
You got this. These are strange times. Let’s not let up and coast on our compassion, love, and intentional self-care.