Posted by Katie’s sermon yesterday at Church was about single parenting (www.crossroadscolorado.com) and she said the craziest thing- “Single parents need to take a Sabbath Day”. A totally nutter idea, as my kids would be running around naked eating old candy corn if I took a weekend day off of the work of mothering.
Three days ago, my single mom friend Susan told me she was doing intensive self-care this week in the midst of a huge effort at work… yikes!
What are these people thinking? Do they not know how many chores are necessary to keep a household afloat? The dirty socks are everywhere. Do they not know my workaholic boss Scott who shows up to the office every weekend day at 5 am? Do they not know how much food my kids require during these middle school growth spurt years?
They actually know that and so much more, because they know me, and they know themselves. They know we need as much love as we give our kids. Did you give yourself as much love today as you gave your kids? Did you spend as much time loving you as you spent loving your kids?
Did you stop and pour yourself some milk this morning and use the pretty glass becasue you know you like it that way best? (that is what you did for your daughter, isn’t it?!)
Did you buy your favorite fruit at the grocery store this week because you know you will especially enjoy it? (that is what you did for your son last week!)
Did you stop and look at the stars and moon the other night just because you needed a break from running around? (isn’t that what you let your kids do while you unloaded the groceries last weekend?)
What new ways can we give ourselves as much love and tender care as we give our children? I would need to start with eating at regular intervals and work my way up to the Sabbath. My friend Delia at work can tell when I have not eaten- the world is falling apart, I cannot take another snide remark from the tech guy, my report is in terrible shape, the client is a snot, and all she has to do is say “Anne, have you eaten, dear?” And I realize it is 11:30 and I have eaten nothing all day… Doh! And of course, after I spend a little time on myself, the world becomes negotiable again.
We are raising precious children. The shepherd needs to tend to herself as well as her flock (remember the oxygen mask concept on planes?) . Do you want your children to live like you do? (Ok, I would like him to pick up his socks like I do– that is true). But I don’t want my kids to run around like headless chimps*. How do I teach them to be thoughtful, kind, caring, respectful people? By becominging one myself and caring for me as well as others in a kind, caring, loving way.
I am going to use the pretty mug this morning for my tea.
You know it takes more than glassware to make changes in our lives. But we can begin small, add in more positive self-talk every day, sprinkle in some time alone to catch our breath, let some gross dirty socks sit for a week while we do some self-restoration… eat the yummy fruit we bought for us this time, do a nice meditation, read the book to yourself tonight, call our sweet friend for a chat, and plan to take an entire Sabbath day off from work of every sort next weekend!)
*Bhanu’s phrase- really true, if you think about it!
3-Legged Table: Reframing Our Beautiful Chaos 