Upset boss last week, sick kid today, and sewer back-up disgusting mess that I have not completely cleaned up and sanitized yet.
I can’t get to everything, so I am juggling the guilt these days. If I pay attention to kids too much, work doesn’t get finished. If I spend an hour cleaning the bathroom, dinner is cereal and toast. All the balls cannot be up and spinning in sync. I cannot get “it all done”.
Everything WILL be in balance, eventually. Over the course of a couple of weeks, it all works out evenly and we all will have split our time over the course of the couple of weeks in ways that were balanced. But meanwhile, on a daily basis, it seems impossible. There are just too many plates up in the air to keep track of!
That needs to be ok. (awareness, acceptance, action, right?) https://3leggedtable.wordpress.com/2011/01/09/the-three-as-and-the-control-thingamajig/
I fell onto another single mom’s blog, and she is counting her loving and courageous actions. http://onemamaslife.wordpress.com/
This is an awesome way to combat the guilt juggle. So here goes:
1. I stayed home with my sick child today and spent time with her rather than working. It would have been unproductive anyway.
2. I am running more consistently this month than last month. So I am taking better care of myself.
3. My independence tug-of-war with my son is beginning to show signs of much more honest respectful communication, if not during the struggle, then shortly thereafter.
4. I followed up on work responsibilities early yesterday to get the huge task that I am unmotivated about started at least.
5. I am thinking and talking and considering getting a new(different, not new) car by myself, something I have never ventured alone.
We can drop the guilt juggle. Rather than a to-do list tonight while we brush our teeth during the only moments we have alone/awake/aware all day, let’s make a list of the things we did that added to the love and kindness in the world and towards ourselves. Carrot cake counts.