“Resentment is anger over time”. Says David Jeremiah in Slaying the Giants Within.
I was feeling very self-righteous, having mostly disposed of and therapied away my anger and resentment at my ex husbands. Occasionally it still pops up, but I don’t dwell on it or anything that happened.
But every morning, on my run, I would yhink of how angry I was at my boss for shortening a deadline on me by 25%. I was indignant, irritated, annoyed, and felt awful about myself that I couldn’t meet his expectations. But I just tried to suck it up, thinking I could compartmentalize it, work as hard as I could while children slept, and everything would be fine.
But it wasn’t fine at all! I was angry at other people, sarcastic, crabby, had high unkind expectations, and didn’t take kindly to jokes… I was unable to compartmentalize my anger, and it grew in my belly unchecked but more like mold than a volcano.
I had to have a nuclear meltdown before I realized I needed to stand up for myself and explain that his expectations would not be met.
We cannot compartmentalize our anger or resentment, it molds and grows and festers over to our other relatonships.
Maybe this is why when we love one person, our other relationships benefit as well by all the spread of good feelings…