Hey Guess What?

Hey Guess What? Single parenting and parenting never ends.  We thought we were on the marathon race to get to college/financial independence/or just out of the house.  Well now, as a mother of a 21 and 23-year old, I am realizing I ain’t never gonna be done wondering if I did this right, said that correctly, and wondering if they are “ok”. It isn’t a marathon, it is a way of life now.

Is she truly happy with her boyfriend? Or is she putting up with bad behavior from him? Is he really trying his best in school, or is he skateboarding/skiing/partying too much? Will he be prepared when he gets out of school? Will she be happy and confident in her self when she starts her new job? Did I teach him how to cook enough? How many meals can I teach him over Christmas break?

They don’t live with me anymore except for vacations, but I definitely think of them every day. I want them to have good lives.  It isn’t so much worrying  as it is sending them good thoughts and prayers now. I am impressed with who they are and what they have become- so much more and better people than I could have imagined.  Really- SO much BETTER than I could have imagined.  She is killing it at her college,and he is rolling with his mistakes and seems to be maturing faster now.

But really now- I need to accept that it isn’t going to “end”, this wondering, hoping, connecting, wishing and this (un-requested, but trying to stop!) advising I do on them.  I can’t help it.  It is mine to accept and come to peace with.  They aren’t mine, they never were.  But they are my children, and I will always be their Mom.

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