Wow! What a week. Brexit happened last week. It actually happened. The world is moving towards nationalism, so sad to me… Australia has been burning all summer. My heart hurts for it all. All the human and animal suffering, the trees, the country, in smoke. In the U.S. here, I can hardly begin the political drama carries on and on and on with sham trail, acquittal, awkward lying State of the Union address. Such lack of hope.
Then Tuesday I got an email in the morning that my sweet little cubicle by the window would be occupied by someone else (named Megan) by Thursday afternoon. I lost composure. WHAT?! In 2 days, another rug pulled out, another punch to the gut to make my life at work more different, more uncomfortable. By Wednesday pm, Admin had picked up all my folders and messy paper stacks and pencil cups and drawer of warm socks, hoarded chocolates, bobby pins and salt wound into a coffee filter so I could eat my salted salad at my desk. I am now in an internal cubicle (with lots of visibility) and no window. Also, my monitor shakes a little bit every time someone walks by. Especially when Megan walks by in her high heels…
The world is on fire, and my cubicle space change put me over the edge. I am feeling quite shallow and self-obsessed. I am lucky to have a job, a paycheck, dental care, and I am worried about my view?! I remember when I was turned out of my teaching job (contract not renewed) and I sat and cried at the principal’s table and said, “Today is my Mom’s birthday”. She did not give me my job back.
They say we should find the positives. I am trying!
- I have a cubicle where more people walk by and I can smile at them and say hello. I can make more friends this way (does that sounds like an awkward 2nd grader?). Every morning I will practice, “Hi Megan”. 😊
- I can rearrange my papers and folders and throw things away that have piled up, so I am more efficient. Maybe I will find a saltshaker.
- I will take more walks and more breaks to go see the weather outside and that will help my concentration. Especially after I finish off the chocolates I forgot about.
- I realize I am a damned delicate little flower. The world is on fire and I need to just get my head out and stop dramatizing my little stuff. It is a really good thing I don’t work at that teaching job any longer (it was middle school math at a troubled school – not a great situation having desks thrown around the room by 14-year olds). I have made so many friends since that job and gained many better fitting skills. I can turn this space into a good place too.
Breakthrough #Crappy One: Think of 2 positives as soon as you can when something crappy happens. It may take years to see, and Crappy Thing might not be a great birthday present for your Mom; but all things do work out for the best. I am divorced from 2 crazy ex-husbands (before I turned 40!). I didn’t think it when they left, but it really was the best thing to happen to me in those situations.
We cannot see around corners or into the future. Maybe where we go is exactly where we should be. Stand tall my friend.